It took me no time to decide on the first confession. I have spent several months thinking about this blog. Some days I was excited about it but most days I cringed at the thought of airing out my dirty laundry, aka “being real”. For years, I have shared my faults, flaws and failures in one-on-one conversations and small group settings, but this is a completely different endeavor.
Truthfully, this was not my only fear. It was not even my biggest fear. I have had fears that run much deeper. For example, I feared having my heart broken again, and I feared being the woman I once was. The latter has kept me awake many nights. I will share the details in the next post. But while fear has occasionally slowed me down, it has never stopped me from moving forward.
I realize the things I will share on this blog will open me up to judgment, and I am quite familiar with the pain that judgment brings. But I also know that we have each made mistakes and foolish decisions. In that way, we are the same…no better, no worse.
Now perhaps you will relate to some things I will share. Maybe you’ll find yourself saying, “I’ve done that too” or “I feel that way also”. Or perhaps my truth will be too raw for you especially since I claim to be a godly woman. Maybe you will shake your head in disapproval or even grow angry that I would have the audacity to share such selfish, scandalous behavior. I understand that point of view as well. Either way, I’m moving forward.
You see, I removed the mask years ago, so I am free to accept my past. I am free to love who I am. And I am free to share my story. In the process, I hope it helps at least one person.
Welcome to my journey…
There is no fear in love. Perfect love puts fear out of our hearts…
1 John 4:18 NLV